Is Your New Years Resolution Divorce?
New Year’s resolutions are right around the corner and divorce is something on that list for some people. It is a new beginning and something they have been thinking about for quite a while in most cases. But, it can be hard to know where to start. And if you want a new start for the new year, now is a good time to start planning. You will want to find an experienced divorce lawyer you trust and get some answers to your questions. They will be able to tell you what you can expect, what to plan for and how you should proceed. Having a new start for the new year is a great idea, you just want to make sure it is what you want and not frustration clouding your judgment.
Should You Get a Divorce?
If you are considering divorce, you should ask yourself why. Once you know what is making you think about divorce, you will be able to assess if you are just getting frustrated or if the feelings are justified. It is common for married couples to question whether they should be together or not. What is not common is when those feelings are strong or overwhelming. When they become consistent and something that you can’t shake, that is when you might need to consider it. After all, if you are having these thoughts and they are prevalent; there must be a reason. Knowing that you can’t go on in a marriage is essential for divorce. But, be sure it is divorce you want and not just frustration over something you are afraid to talk about.
Planning Your Divorce
If you are sure that you want a divorce, it is something you should plan out. You want to make sure that you are ready for this process. It isn’t an easy one, and it is very long. You want to make sure that you have a plan. Have a place to go, whether it is permanent or not. Even if you plan on keeping the home you live in now, it can be helpful to leave for a day or two so that your spouse can remove all of their things and have a little time to themselves. If you don’t want to do this, have a possible plan or idea of how this will work. You should know who will leave and why, but also how much time is needed to get their things together. Know what you will be doing until the divorce is final and how you will be moving on once you have filed for divorce.
Things to Think About
You should consider things like alimony, the division of assets and the logistics of the divorce. Have an idea of the things that you want to keep after the divorce. There are some things that you feel entitled to and some that have meaning to you. Make a list and tell why you want to keep these items. Be sure that you have money saved since you will be a single income home for a long time. If you don’t, you need to have a plan of how you will live for the next few months; at least. A divorce can go on for years. Be sure that you are prepared for this and know what you will be doing in order to get back on your feet. You don’t want to pull the trigger on the divorce, but end up pulling the string on a sweater that pulls it apart. Sure, you don’t want to stay in a marriage you don’t want to be in. But, you don’t want to be unprepared to leave it.
When to Inform Your Spouse
When you are sure, you should have a talk with your spouse. Now that you have thought about your plan and all of the details involved, you can tell them your thoughts. They will likely be shocked and upset. Be prepared for this. If this is really what you want, you have to be firm. Try to be as fair as possible and remember that while you have been planning and thinking about this, it is new to them. They will need time to process and consider everything you tell them. It is best to tell them when you are sure this is what you want. If you aren’t sure, have a conversation that discusses it; but leave the possibility of staying together. This way you aren’t making a mistake either way. It is a decision that you should come to together, but you cannot stay in a marriage you want to leave. Expect that things will get messy. Often times a partner who is not very angry or negative can become so during these discussions. And that is normal.